Patience – Priority – Purpose – Integrity – Serenity – Release
Happy 2020! My year started with sleeping in, breakfast in bed and a quiet morning with the man of my dreams. The cats cuddled and Chris and I dreamed of our new home in 2020. As I get ready to post this, I just enjoyed two days of skiing after a day celebrating a dear friend. It’s January 5th. Life is good.
I turn 50 this year. I have very mixed and somewhat unsettled feelings about this.
Each year I choose a word to help me focus. Annual “focus” has been about thoughts, prayers, celebrations, hopes, and dreams. Over the last 6 years I’ve been using my prayer mantra as words for they year.
Patience – 2015; – Priority 2016; Purpose 2017; Integrity – 2018; Serenity -2019; Release – 2020
2019 – the year or Serenity? Yeah, not so much. It was a rough one for us. It was a tough one for me. Having been fairly open about this, I’m slightly comforted knowing I am not alone.
There are some wonderful highlights, but it was a tough year overall for me. Some days I looked at Serenity and ended more on resigned. Work for me, and employment for Chris provided many challenges. I began the year with my company nearly failing. Luckily we had a strong year and are in the process of repairing the damage. Like all small business, this is a day to day labor of love – and luckily things look up in 2020.
Due to injuries, both physical and mental- I did not run an annual marathon. I’m on the mend, so I will attempt another in 2020. We started the immigration process in Canada – with hopes of enjoying dual citizenship in the future so we can retire in Vancouver and travel the world. Chris and I committed ourselves to some time in Europe. We attempted to move our home to New England, but were thwarted by the costs, family matters and logistics and employment snags.
On the up, our health is good, our friends loving and we are surrounded by generosity. We vacationed in Palm Springs, visited our families, refreshed our love affair with Vancouver and realized a modified dream in Sonoma County.
The high points and highlights are a great counterbalance to the snags. As I pivot from Serenity, “release” seems apropos.
2019 – Highlights
- We scratched our international itch by living in Vancouver for a few months, starting our journey toward the future there.
- Our core friendships deepen as we live with intention. New births in the family bring new life and excitement. Being uncles/Funcles give us great joy.
- Sonoma County – Wine country living! Late in December we joined a team of investors and Chris joined a team of talented and dedicated Hotel and Hospitality management to transform the Northwood Lodge into a destination location.
- Chris has found and honed his voice in the kitchen – his cooking and preparation of feasts have shone a light on his ability to create, inspire and nurture. Our social media feeds fail to capture the full beauty and joy I get to experience nearly daily.
2020 – The year of release? Sure, I’m on that!
I’m not going to hold back… turning 50 and this time of my life is more challenging than I hoped. Injuries have prevented me from running and a month of sobriety has helped me reframe my relationship to endorphins, self-medication, sugar and caffeine, and the challenges I face. It’s a great time to explore the gifts of letting go- release.
Release – I’m going to free myself from my internal critic.
Release – I’m going to free up my dreams – the practical and financial realities of our life have stifled me. It’s time to release that BS!
Release – No more “I have to…”— and more “I’m choosing to…” – and sure, there are practical realities- but I am reminded that I have a hand in shaping what’s next, and in 2020 what is next looks pretty darn good.
On New Year’s Day we slept and rested through the dark of the night and the cold of the morning, waking bright sunshine and a fresh breeze. I’m going to use that as a positive sign for 2020 and a guidepost for my next steps. I hope we all have 2020 vision for the years ahead.